Airport Musings and Murphy’s law
After two weeks of hectic travelling criss crossing the country, tasting different cuisines, living on hotel laundry, getting up early, going to bed late, sleeping in-flight, waiting in endless queues, I land up in Chennai for a welcome weekend break. Not a bad idea to pen down some musings. Blogging indulgence smile emoticon
I have always been a keen observer of the various manifestations of Murphy’s laws in our lives. Not surprisingly, Murphy makes his presence felt in airports in India too smile emoticon Read on to know more.
1. The adjacent counter always moves faster than the one you have chosen to stand in. Be it the security frisk or the check-in or the transit bus, Murphy is in the air.
2. I get to meet my long lost friend in the most hurried moment only to say a hi, a quick hug and exchange of numbers and a promise to call back. Benches apart in school to continents apart in career. The wait for the reunion continues. Murphy gets better now
3 Theory of direct proportion: The crowd in the morning is directly proportional to the time taken by the CISF to frisk you. The CISF personnel work through the night shift with little or no work. The peak hour picks up in the morning when they are at the fag end of their shift. No wonder they conduct the security check in Hi-Definition Slow motion. Strangely, the Airports Authority is not working on this while Murphy is working overtime
4. Anger takes over sleep when in the deepest of naps, the air hostess will find her most dutiful moment to wake you up and serve a stale piece of sandwich. By now, Murphy is rocking!
5. Life of learning: Air India shows us shamelessness when the steward announces a “regret” for delayed departure without an inch of shame. Spicejet teaches us that life is not a bed of roses as their landing is almost always bumpy. Jet airways reminds us that the topper in high school need not be a topper in college too going by their fallen standards of efficiency and service. And Indigo reminds us of useless, idealistic processes at work when the steward announces you to have a taste of Saravana Bhavan and Krishna Sweets in Chennai when the flight lands at 00.30 am. Neither dinner time nor digestion time. What about Go air? Gone with the wind!
6. Your airport, your identity: If the air time to Chennai is lesser than the road time to the airport, it has to be Bangalore. If you are obsessed with taking photos, it has to be T3 Delhi. If you miss a flight even with a boarding pass in hand, it has to be Mumbai. If the pre-paid cabbie wears a dhoti, it has to be Kochi. If your cabin baggage is lesser than the weight of Karachi biscuits that you have just bought, you must be boarding from Hyderabad. If the airport is too small for a large city, you have landed in Pune. If everything moves in slow motion, you have arrived in Kolkata. And if you find people with helmets inside the airport, it has to be Chennai. The sky is falling (literally)
7. Identity crisis (of a different kind): These days, it is difficult to find out the ethnicity of people around us at the airport. Coloured hair, bleached faces that paint them white and western outfits that reveal more than not. It is only until they hurry and jostle to stand ahead of the queue do you realise the Indian mindset truly revealing they hail from ‘Mera Bharat’. Call that behaviour giving away the beauty.
8. Emotions galore: Guilt of spending hits you when you have spent more money buying books at the airport to kill time than to taxis to drop us. Frustration welcomes you when the flight is delayed and you just wrapped up a conference call and notice your mobile phone battery drained. Realisation that flights believe in mileage too. They switch on the A/c in those funny small ATR aircrafts only when the engine has started.
And before I could realise, my next travel has started smile emoticon See you soon!